Sunday, December 27, 2009

Choosing my own path

I am happy that the holidays are now over. Yule was the best, celebrating with my best friends and two of my cousins. We all had a blast.
Christmas was a whole different kettle of fish. I was actually told by my mother not to show up to the house on Christmas day because of my sister. My parents had my fathers side of the family over on Christmas eve. I was there of course, I wanted to see everyone. My sister stayed in the basement the whole time. every once and a while I would hear her take a fit from her room down there. so when my mom took me aside, giving me a hug in the process, she whispered into my ear, "don't bother coming her tomorrow." I was crushed. as soon as i left my parents place i just balled.
Now i am going to do some big changes in my life. First and foremost is trying to relieve myself of some stress in my life. Ever since this big blow up with my sister and family, i have lost about 40-50 pounds, just due to stress. One of my cousins that i don't see too often kept on commenting on how much weight i lost and was asking me what kind of diet i was on. I flat out told him its called the stress diet. I know that there is stress in every day life and things will be stressful once i become a mommy.. its common sense. Now though i want to take control of my life, choose my own path, and not care what anyone thinks. So until my family comes to their senses, i will be not talking to them all that often. I know it sounds bad, but I know being stressed and pregnant is not a good combination.
This evening, I was talking to a friend that i have known now for almost 20 years. I recently told her my plans of becoming a mom. I never expected the reaction that i got. she basically called me stupid, but of course not in those words. It was "you know i was a single mom and all the hardships and struggling I went though. why would you want to do that..." and it went on and on and on. It was like a sharp blow to the face. I just wanted to tell her, yes i know, but that was ten years ago. you were younger and he was a surprise. you were a partier and it put a damper on your social life. it just felt like everyone was trying to crush my dreams lately. but i know that is not true.
Azaera, thank you. You have helped me out a lot today like always. You always know what to say to make me feel better about myself and always reminding me it is my life, no one elses. I get to choose what i do with it. I can never have asked for a better best friend. You are the best!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Yule came early today

well today was looking like a normal day. Ok not too normal. i picked up my mom to do a little yule shopping, and on the way to the city the rear passenger tire blew up. it was a bit scary but i was able to pull my car over to the side of the road with little to no problem. The only big problem was it was -27 plus the windchill factor so it must have been -5000 out. and there i am with no gloves, jacking up my car, then trying to figure out how to get the spare tire from under the car (new car and i have never changed a tire on him yet.) i was half way done getting the tire from under the car and completely frozen when a semi driver pulled over and lent a grateful hand. He had the tire changed under five minutes. My mom and myself said our heartfelt thank yous to the man and went on our way to get a new tire for my car.
To make a long story short (i know its too late for that now lol) it took 7 hours for them to get my tire changed since its "change over to your winter tire" season. My cousin lent me her car in the meantime so we were able to continue to fight the crazy mobs in the mall to shop.
The best present today that i received was in the mail when i got home. I got a letter from my doctors office that they have contacted the clinic and they should be calling or mailing me with my appointment time and date. Luckily no one was near the mail box's when i got it because i squealed pretty loud with delight. I have never been so excited for a stranger to call me.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The best medicine

Today I was really depressed thanks to my mom calling me and telling me that I had to buy my sister a christmas present because otherwise she would be depressed. after that and her trying to tell me how to live my life i was felling really down. The people i work with heard my argument with my mom on the phone so they were trying to cheer me up today.
All it took to put a smile on my face was the belly laughter of a little monster. Thank you Skyler for making my day