Don't know...

Well its about that time of the year where everyone goes and celebrates yule/Christmas with their family. I don't know what I'm going to do this year though. my life has not been too clear for a while now.
since my birthday in April, i had what would you call it had a fallout with my family. my sister had a blow up with me and she threatened to kill me. My parents had taken my sisters side in almost everything. it has been real rough time for me...my patents only talking to me when they want something and basically shunning me. if it has not been for my best friends, i think i would have lost my mind a while ago.
so this year for all the holiday fun, i don't know what i am going to do. its really depressing that i can not even go to my parents place without my sister throwing a huge hissy fit and run to her room in the basement and yell until i leave there. so most of the time i don't feel like i am wanted and its making me more depressed every day.
my cousins say i can go over to their places and celebrate with their family, but its just not the same.
i think that is why i really want to start a family real soon. i want to love someone unconditionally and hopefully be loved in return.
i hope everyone will have a great holidays, and try not to get too stressed out over the shopping season.